I just read an article on buzzfeed about how adorable red pandas are. They are the cutest fucking animal ever. :) I'm blogging from my phone right now and I have no idea how to link to the article, so look it up yourself. ^_^' Anyway there's some kind of competition between the elephant and the red panda over who is going to be the next 'Big Animal'. As much as I love elephants, and who doesn't, between these two I'm totally voting for he red panda. Cutest animal ever! Seriously look them up on YouTube. You'll die in a pit of squees.
So I've gotten some funny and cute texts and Facebook messages pertaining to last night's blog post, because I'm a space case. :) I feel it's necessary to clarify that my pseudo-philosophical ramblings about life throwing crazy shit around is because I'm bouncing around like a schoolgirl. I said that these life altering events seem to happen to me a lot, but not like this one. :) I'm not one to broadcast my personal life all over everyone's news feed, so I'll make this mysterious but clear. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. Like, totally evar. Hence the tralalalala-ing. :) Because sometimes life has a big ol' ice pick to chip away the fortress around your heart.
Life is so fucking good. :)
The would make a great shirt. Complete with the smiley.
\gay rant about my gayness
P.S. I tweeted 'brown belt' on Friday night, because I was drunk and everyone was high giving each other and I got caught up in the moment. Wait, that doesn't sound right either. Bottom line (haha, bottom) I shouldn't be tweeting from the bar. But (haha) I do it anyway. That is all.
8.4.13
7.4.13
Peter Piper and the Pickled Peckers
Life is definitely not a boring thing. We're made up of our experiences, knowledge we gather, emotions we feel, and how we treat people. Sometimes life lessons will smack you in the face so hard you take a tumble, and when you get back up, the world looks a little differently. Whether it looks better or worse, this happens to me all the time. Sometimes it just takes one moment, a minuscule little happening, to make your blood run cold and your heart stop. It's amazing how the human body physically reacts to even the tiniest of instances.
Sometimes it feels like the day drags on, like you're trudging through mud to get anywhere and time is running backwards. Sometimes you're light as a feather and the day flies by in an instant. And sometimes all it takes is one word, sentence, or facial expression to completely turn it around. Some life events take time, and the buildup is a flurry of emotion and preparation. And some events just happen at the drop of a hat and you're forced to deal with it before the shock even wears off.
These things happen to me all the time. I've joked in the past about how I've had fifty midlife crises already and I haven't even reached midlife (hopefully). Some I orchestrated, some were beyond my control, but life is always a rollercoaster and you never know where the tracks are going to take you.
For the record, yes, I'm babbling. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of bliss for me, and I'm learning things about myself that I never knew existed. It's enlightening, and inspiring, and beautiful. My thoughts have been all a-jumble and I've been furiously making notes like a busy little bee for all kind of writing avenues that I'd like to explore. But I haven't been able to put pen to paper (or hand to keyboard) and create paragraphs that make sense.
As you can see from the above ramblings, my head is all over the place. I'm exploring so many little nooks and crannies inside of myself that I can't even stay on track. :) You should see my notebooks and the emails I've been sending myself from my phone. When I can actually put all of my thoughts in order, the internet is going to see some serious shit.
I just dug a bunch of hair out of my shower drain (I use a glove to do this, because ew, guys) and realized that I needed to write a blog post. Like, right then. Don't worry, I took the glove off first. And I decided not to reference any notes, and just write what came to mind. I have things that will be coming soon, like a new Boss review (we're up to chapter 10 now, and it's so steamy... you don't even know), a series of posts that I'd like to start that will span 26 posts, more hilariously ridiculous erotic fanfiction, and a side blog for a series of short stories. The short stories won't start until VIVID 2 is done, which is like totally late.
I know I said March 1st, but I've found that when I set deadlines for myself, I panic and then I can't write because I put too much pressure on myself. And then I force myself to write, and it comes out like shit. Absolute shit. I should have known better than to do that. The other reason (excuse? Shaddap!) is because I changed my character for the cover, and now I'm going to have to pick a new model. I just realized I'm an idiot and the perfect one is totally visiting right now... hang on I have to text her.
Ok, I'm back. I've decided to put one of the secondary characters on the cover, and save Moxie (the main character) for the fifth and final book of the series, because it just feels more right that way. I put the mainest (that's a word now, fuck you spellcheck) secondary character on the first one, so I'm going to do that for all of them up to the last, which will feature Moxie for the end of her story. So the beautiful Ashley won't be debuting her rockin' modeling career until then. Unless she comes to one of my shoots. Hint, hint!
Squee! Marissa texted me back and she's agreed to do the shoot. My personal favourite character in Vivid 2, Kharma, will have a face. :)
It is taking me forever to write this. ^_^' I'm all over the place, but I feel like I got a little more structured in the last couple of paragraphs. I should probably quit while I'm ahead. Next post will be a Boss review, so with that theme in mind, I will hopefully stay on track.
Tra la la la la! Happy Spring everyone!
Sometimes it feels like the day drags on, like you're trudging through mud to get anywhere and time is running backwards. Sometimes you're light as a feather and the day flies by in an instant. And sometimes all it takes is one word, sentence, or facial expression to completely turn it around. Some life events take time, and the buildup is a flurry of emotion and preparation. And some events just happen at the drop of a hat and you're forced to deal with it before the shock even wears off.
These things happen to me all the time. I've joked in the past about how I've had fifty midlife crises already and I haven't even reached midlife (hopefully). Some I orchestrated, some were beyond my control, but life is always a rollercoaster and you never know where the tracks are going to take you.
For the record, yes, I'm babbling. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of bliss for me, and I'm learning things about myself that I never knew existed. It's enlightening, and inspiring, and beautiful. My thoughts have been all a-jumble and I've been furiously making notes like a busy little bee for all kind of writing avenues that I'd like to explore. But I haven't been able to put pen to paper (or hand to keyboard) and create paragraphs that make sense.
As you can see from the above ramblings, my head is all over the place. I'm exploring so many little nooks and crannies inside of myself that I can't even stay on track. :) You should see my notebooks and the emails I've been sending myself from my phone. When I can actually put all of my thoughts in order, the internet is going to see some serious shit.
I just dug a bunch of hair out of my shower drain (I use a glove to do this, because ew, guys) and realized that I needed to write a blog post. Like, right then. Don't worry, I took the glove off first. And I decided not to reference any notes, and just write what came to mind. I have things that will be coming soon, like a new Boss review (we're up to chapter 10 now, and it's so steamy... you don't even know), a series of posts that I'd like to start that will span 26 posts, more hilariously ridiculous erotic fanfiction, and a side blog for a series of short stories. The short stories won't start until VIVID 2 is done, which is like totally late.
I know I said March 1st, but I've found that when I set deadlines for myself, I panic and then I can't write because I put too much pressure on myself. And then I force myself to write, and it comes out like shit. Absolute shit. I should have known better than to do that. The other reason (excuse? Shaddap!) is because I changed my character for the cover, and now I'm going to have to pick a new model. I just realized I'm an idiot and the perfect one is totally visiting right now... hang on I have to text her.
Ok, I'm back. I've decided to put one of the secondary characters on the cover, and save Moxie (the main character) for the fifth and final book of the series, because it just feels more right that way. I put the mainest (that's a word now, fuck you spellcheck) secondary character on the first one, so I'm going to do that for all of them up to the last, which will feature Moxie for the end of her story. So the beautiful Ashley won't be debuting her rockin' modeling career until then. Unless she comes to one of my shoots. Hint, hint!
Squee! Marissa texted me back and she's agreed to do the shoot. My personal favourite character in Vivid 2, Kharma, will have a face. :)
It is taking me forever to write this. ^_^' I'm all over the place, but I feel like I got a little more structured in the last couple of paragraphs. I should probably quit while I'm ahead. Next post will be a Boss review, so with that theme in mind, I will hopefully stay on track.
Tra la la la la! Happy Spring everyone!
22.2.13
The Pursuit of Happiness
So I frequent this site, Topless Robot, because it's an awesome hub of nerdiness. My favourite part, however, was this section called Fan Fiction Friday, in which the amazing Rob Bricken would tear apart hilariously insane erotic fan fiction. Every Friday was a new adventure into the depraved minds of humanity and their weird fetishes and horrible grammar. Wonderful, wonderful joy.
Anyway, FFF is no longer around because Rob has moved over to io9, a news hub where he writes witty and entertaining articles. They tried to move FFF over there, but it was recieved terribly and unfortunately, cancelled. :( The old FFF archives are still available at Topless Robot, and I happened to be scrolling through while I was on the exercise bike at the gym. Because working out is boring as hell and I needed something to read.
I came across one of my very favourites, Garfield: Royal Rescue, in which Garfield saves Kate Middleton from the evil Prince William. Honestly. I ended up finding my way over to the author's page on fanfiction.net, ShakespeareHemmingway, and noticed he had twenty stories about Garfield's adventures. They made me die with laughter. So I've decided to share one of my favourites with you.
So, without further ado, a little tribute to TR, FFF, and Mr. Rob Bricken:
Garfield: First Blood Part II: The Legend of the Warrior of the Forever Fist
In Part One, Garfield saves Natalie Portman from a gang of vampires.
It was a bright morning full of rain and sun when Natalie Portman was doing her acting.
"These are my words and my motions are full of emotion." Said Natalie Portman with acting.
"Excellence! This is Oscar winning performance!" Said the director with compliments.
"Thank you I am four star actress." Said Natalie Portman with thanks.
IMHO, Natalie Portman is like a twenty star actress.
Then all of a sudden out of mist Ashton Kutcher appeared with sinister plans.
"Haha Natalie Portman you will star in me with movies and be forever mine! Then I will have immortality!" Cackled Ashton Kutcher with evil.
Does that work?
"No Ashton Kutcher I will not give in to your evil." Cried out Natalie Portman in defiance.
"Haha You have no say in this! You are my prisoner! Behold force field!" Said Ashton Kutcher as he summoned a force field prison to capture Natalie Portman.
"Now to my studio lair where we will star in movies together!" Declared Ashton Kutcher with evil as he left with imprisoned Natalie Portman.
Did anyone else think of Aqua Teen when he said 'behold'? Just me? Ok.
Meanwhile Garfield was riding alone on all American highway on his Custom Harley Davidson motorcycle rockin out to DIO turned up to maximum volume.
"Time to train the muscles." Said Garfield as he pulled into a gym for training.
Garfield went to the punching bag for punching practice. It was punching bag made of diamond and steel so it can take his super punches which are like force of nature.
YES.
"I am fist. Mighty with speed." Garfield said as he punched the punching bag.
As Garfield practiced his punches news reports came on the TV.
"This just in. Ashton Kutcher has tweeted he has kidnapped Natalie Portman for evil movies. If only a hero was man enough to save her." Said the news man with reporting.
He tweeted that? Fuck yes he did. Said I with fuck-yesing.
"INDIGNITIES." Roared Garfield as he punched the punching bag in half with ease at the anger of the reporting.
Garfield waltzed out of gym in quest to rescue Natalie Portman with his manly power. Outside of gym Garfield was confronted with thugs.
"Haha Garfield we were sent by Ashton Kutcher to be putting stop to you. Now is the time for endings!" Said the thugs with arrogant laughs.
"The only thing being stopped is your life! Eat fist!" Roared Garfield with anger.
I'm totally picturing Duke Nukem as Garfield. For the record.
The thugs then attacked Garfield with foolishness. One thug swung a chain at him the other hit him with a baseball bat, but it was no use. They bounced off Garfields muscles like rubber ball on a donkey.
"WHAT?" Cried out the thugs in shocking disbelief.
That's what I was thinking.
"My turn miscreants." Said Garfield has he lifted one thug above his head.
"Time to make a wish." Said Garfield as he snapped the thug in two.
After the thug snapping, Garfield turned to other thug with vengeance.
"Garfield please spare my life I am poor starving man." Said the thug with begging.
"Starve on my fist." Said Garfield as he punched the thugs stomach out.
Ahhahahaha YES!
Garfield then hopped on his Custom Harley Davidson motorcycle and revved the engines to rescue the Natalie Portman.
"Ashton Kutcher I hope your heart is in good health because I am going to rip it out of your chest." Garfield said as he put his shades on and rode off for rescue.
As Garfield rode, a Tractor Trailer truck filled with lasagna drove beside him.
Of course it did.
"Lasagna feed my body and soul. Give me strength to rescue ladies in danger." Garfield said as he looked to the truck.
Lasagna burst out of truck to feed Garfield and entered his mouth for eating, filling Garfields muscular body with power and energy.
"Thank you Lasagna you are now part of me." Garfield said with gratitude to lasagna.
Is this like some kind of metaphor for Catholicism? Nah, probably not.
In the distance Garfield spotted trouble. It was a tank filled with vile minions of Ashton Kutcher.
"Behold Garfield our beast of iron and metal. You ride ends here Garfield for we are righteous." Said the tank commander with taunts.
At villains petty taunts Garfield laughed with scoffing. He turned on his DIO beyond maximum volume and glared at foolish tank with fiery eyes.
"Rust in peace, iron beast." Garfield said to the tank as he rode right through the tank at laser speed splitting it in half.
Gentlemen, behold! Happiness!
Meanwhile in Ashton Kutchers demon lair evil was brewing in hearts of men. Ashton Kutcher was sitting on his throne dressed like wicked sultan while Natalie Portman was chained to the wall.
"Haha Natalie Portman you are mine on this midnight hour. All of your hope should be abandoned for I am your new master!" Cackled Ashton Kutcher with evil.
"No Garfield will save me for he is true hero of man." Natalie Portman said with hope.
"Hoho not even Garfields manliness can save you now. We will star in movies and makes eons of money." Declared Ashton Kutcher with maniac laughing.
"Garfield please come I need you." Natalie Portman said with longing.
You know, I can't help but feel like I would be totally cool with Ashton Kutcher chaining me to a wall. Just me? Ok.
Meanwhile Garfield was riding the lonely road of the hero with hair blowing through wind like wet lasagna in a fan. In the distance Garfield saw Ashton Kutchers palace of pain and evil. It was on Island surrounded by lava and crocodiles. There seemed no way but Garfield never gives up never surrenders.
"Time to do the sky bird." Garfield declared as he pulled out his lasagna glider and glided to island of Ashton Kutcher.
Lasagna glider for the win!
Garfield crashed into room full of Ashton Kutchers loyal guards who would fight in his name to the deaths, but Garfield was not afraid.
"I heard there was party so I stopped by. Do not worry I am polite guest here are some presents." Quipped Garfield a she took out his Desert Eagles and fired at guard scum.
There aren't enough words to express my joy at this.
"My goody bag will be your beating heart Ashton Kutcher!" Garfield shouted with adrenaline pumping.
Garfield searched Ashton Kutchers palace mowing down guards wherever he saw with no mercy. He then came upon doors to Ashton Kutchers throne room but it was sealed with evil power and locks. But Garfield blew it open with ease like big bad wolf blowing down straw houses.
Without any huffing and puffing?
"I am here for the Natalie Portman and for your head on stick." Garfield roared upon entering Ashton Kutchers throne room.
Inside room Garfield saw Natalie Portman chained in imprisonment and Ashton Kutcher sitting on throne.
"Haha Garfield I have been waiting for you. Not even you can be stopping me now." Ashton Kutcher cackled with evil.
"Silence you sultan of sin. Your time is ending near!" Garfield responded with angry vocals.
"Garfield I had enough of your words. Time for fiery doom! Meet the dragon!" Ashton Kutcher said as he whistled for his dragon. At Ashton Kutchers whistling a four headed dragon appeared with fire breathing and roars.
"Enjoy your just deserts!" Ashton Kutcher cackled as he fled like little girl.
Lmfaooooooooooooooo.....
"Haha Garfield! I am hoping you brought your bib because I am going to be smoking you like a ham!" Growled the evil four headed dragon.
"I have no time for dragon distraction." Fumed Garfield with frustration.
Dragon Distraction would be a killer band name.
All hope seemed to be in fire but then familiar voice was heard by all.
"AMAKOOOOO."
It was Jon Arbuckle flying in on jet pack rearing for fighting!
"Do not worry I will take care of this lizard you must go after Ashton Kutcher." Said Jon Arbuckle with support.
"Thank you Jon Arbuckle you are my jet pack backup." Garfield said with gratitude.
Jet Pack Backup... nah, that's not that good.
Garfield went after Ashton Kutcher as Jon Arbuckle battled dragon with mystic blade.
"Ok dragon boy let's do this." Jon Arbuckle said as he drew his mystic katana.
Jon should totally have a katana in the comic.
Meanwhile Garfield was chasing down Ashton Kutcher with justice on mind and in fist. He finally cornered Ashton Kutcher against wall.
"You are at the end of your highway and it is time to pay the toll man." Said Garfield with eyes glaring.
The quick wit in this story is right up there with the Expendables 2. Which, for the record, also gave me joygasms.
"Haha Garfield it is too late. Natalie Portman soul is mine and my life will be immortal!" Ashton Kutcher declared with vile grin.
"Fool your life is short, but my fist is FOREVER." Garfield roared as he charged inner power to max and sent fists flying at Ashton Kutcher at earthquake speed making him supernova.
Yes. YES.
"NOOOO." Cried out Ashton Kutcher as he supernovad.
"Your career just exploded." Quipped Garfield with cleverness.
Ahhahahahaha!
"Thank you Garfield you saved me again." Thanked Natalie Portman with joyful words.
"No problem honeybabes. I can not stand seeing ladies kidnapped." Garfield said as he helped Natalie Portman up.
"Good work Garfield. You saved day again." Said approaching voice. It was Jon Arbuckle! He was holding dragons heads in his hands.
"Yes Jon Arbuckle I think it is time for celebration." Said Garfield in response.
"Yes Garfield we should perform our hit new song for Natalie Portmans music enjoyment." Jon Arbuckle suggested with good ideas as he took out his electric guitar for jamming.
Of course you should.
"Yes here is our new song "Lover and Fighter Man." From album of same name. Old people with diseases should beware of dangerous rocking." Said Garfield as he took out his mic ready for rocking.
I am so using that at my next gig.
Jon Arbuckle began powerful chords of playing while Garfield began to sing with mighty rocking voice:
"I am real man hard like steel
Always hungry for lasagna meal
Busting heads winning every fight
Need to see you naked tonight
I am a Lover and Fighter man
Not a loser and crier man
Baby, Bake me egg in a friar pan
Because I am a lover and fighter man
Every day I am punching and kicking
When I come home I want you for licking
Stupid thugs their heads I crack
But you I want to rub my back
I am a Lover and Fighter Man
Not a loser and crier man
I want to spank you until you tan
Because I am a lover and fighter man"
Jon Arbuckle then began shredding like madman with guitar solo.
Can somebody please cover this? Pretty please with a cherry on top?
"AMAKOOOOOOO." Shouted Jon Arbuckle as flames and lightning burst out of his guitar. After amazing guitar solo Garfield began to sing again:
"I am the champ in the ring
In the bedroom I am king
Bashing villains until they groan
Loving ladies until they moan
I am a lover and fighter man
Not a loser and Crier man
I will make you fly like Peter Pan
Because I am a lover and fighter man"
Natalie Portman screamed and clapped in excitement at the rocking concert. She ran to Garfield with love in her eyes.
"Garfield you are rock star stud muffin. But now I want you to play me like an electric guitar and make me wail." Natalie Portman said with desire.
See, all musicians are sexy. Even if they're cats, they can still fuck Natalie Portman.
"Sure thing sugarbites. I have a concert in my pants and you have first row tickets." Garfield said with flirty words.
WIN.
"Let us go on stage and make music." Said Natalie Portman as she led Garfield to her bedroom.
Garfield and Natalie Portman went on her bed and embraced for love makings. They rubbed eachother with oil and perfume and touched eachother all over. Their bodies then joined like peanut butter and jelly and created delicious loving all night long.
The End..?
Authors Note: Congratulations to Natalie Portman for her pregnancies! Please beware and do not let Ashton Kutcher kidnap your babies. Also I am still single so it is still ok if you would like to date me.
I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Your welcome, and excuse me. ;)
8.2.13
Smooth Juice and the Written Word
Hello, interwebs. It's been awhile since I've posted, I apologize. A lot of awesome and crazy things are happening in my life right now, and I'm lovin' it. :)
I'm about three quarters of the way done editing VIVID 2, and I'm starting to get extremely excited. My wonderful and lovely editor is dying for a copy, and I'll be super proud to give it to her. I've been working really hard on it, and while it's taking a lot longer than I thought it would, it's a really fun process and I'm feeling good about the polishing that I'm doing. It's amazing how things fall into place when you just let them simmer and reread them.
I've been doing some side notes, as inspiration strikes, and even though I'm incredibly stoked to be starting VIVID 3 in March, I may take a week long side gander into some short stories. Thanks to Jenny Trout I stumbled upon a racy little web site that is looking for some submissions into their sexy short story category. As some of you close to me know, I've written some erotica (such a nicer word than porn!) in my time, and I'm tempted to give it a try. Just as a side gander though, I promise. The third instalment in Moxie's story is calling very very loudly, so I won't stay away from it terribly long.
So, a juicing update!
In short, I feel fucking awesome. But as you know, I can never talk about anything the short way. ;) I've been incredibly diligent about making vegetable juice twice a day, and ingesting it a half hour before eating solid food so that I absorb all of the nutrients. And let me tell you, it's working.
When I started, it was just a way for me to add some extra nutrients into my daily routine, because I like to eat a lot of crap. I love good-for-you food too, but also so much crap. So I figured I'd be chugging juice in between crap to make sure that I'm not dying of over-chocolating.
But I just realized, a few days ago, that I have stopped over-chocolating. Scientifically (or so I've researched), eating too much crap never makes you feel full, because you're getting enough calories but not enough nutrients. According to that theory, you're loading up on calories but starving your body of nutrients, therefore you're constantly hungry. So, apparently, if you ingest the proper nutrients, you won't be craving food constantly. Of course I thought this was a load of shit. I love food!
I was proven wrong. Not that I don't eat chocolate or chips or bad-for-you stuff anymore, but I don't crave it anymore. I'll be satisfied after two peanut butter cups instead of twenty. And I was the kind of person that can't eat just one Oreo. It was the whole box or nothing. But since I've been having two juices a day, I haven't felt the need to gorge an entire bag of chips or a whole box of cookies. It's odd, but probably a good thing.
I've also been craving a lot of good stuff. In the last little while, we've been experimenting with different healthy foods, like ground flax and quinoa (which kicks the shit out of rice any day!). And the awesome chick that I work with in Elora now, she's a vegan and all into smoothies and stuff. She's introduced me to some intense recipes and teas, all that are super anti-cancer and really healthy for you. I don't even have to think about it any more, my body craves the good stuff now, which is awesome.
I've noticed a serious increase in energy. I've never been a morning person, and I'm still not exactly thrilled about being awake early. But I don't feel like a bag of shit anymore. I had my first 5:30 am shift yesterday, and I got out of bed on the first snooze because I wanted to have time to make a smoothie before work. I walk the dog while I drink the goodness, and I'm not dragging my ass in the morning. It gives me a spring in my step throughout the day, and I don't crash like I would from coffee.
Don't get me wrong, I still love my coffee. :) I'm drinking one right now. But let me tell you, green ass vegetables beat caffeine for energy.
I've started making smoothies, too. I felt like I wasn't getting enough of the leafy greens in the juice, because I'd get barely any juice from them, so I thought if I made smoothies with frozen fruit and the leafy greens, I'd get everything all in one glass. I also don't eat/drink a lot of dairy, so I figured that having yogurt and milk would be good for me too. I discovered that you can mix ground seeds with smoothies too, and it'll give you a massive dose of protein. Apparently flax gels when it gets wet and it's really good for your colon. ^_^' The more you know!
So I've been doing two juices and two smoothies a day, and I feel fucking amazing. My skin is clearer, I have more energy, I'm craving healthy stuff, I'm in great spirits (although that might have something to do with my recent job change, too), and I'm pretty sure my boobs are perkier. I'm not 100% positive, but my girls just seem happier lately. I've read that copious amounts of veggies build muscle and tighten the skin, so it's possible that I've given my titties a little lift. Which is another awesome side effect.
So all in all, I recommend this. Even if a juicer isn't in your budget, if you have some kind of blender or processor you can make smoothies with just about anything. I like to use the juicer for my veggie stuff, like tomatoes, carrots, celery, and beets. Then I use the blender with frozen fruit, yogurt, milk, greens (spinach or kale) and grains. If you're lactose intolerant or don't like milk you can use orange or apple juice to make smoothies too. My vegan friend makes these super intense kale/ginger/lemon/orange smoothies with a VitaMix blender, which basically liquefies everything into super-goodness. It's some serious sinus-clearing flavour, but it's fucking delicious. And you feel like you can lift a car afterwards.
Anyways, that's an update into my health-kick adventure, in case anyone was interested. If you have any questions, or if you do anything like this to help your nutrition, let me know in the comments! I'm always looking for new recipes or ideas to continue boosting my health. (I know, I should quit smoking, blah friggedy blah.)
On a totally different note, I was directed to this blogring which is the hub on information and discussion about why 50 Shades of Grey is about abuse. I highly recommend checking it out, even if you've never read the series or don't care about it, it's a really interesting look into social culture and what people really believe in society. It blows my mind the amount of people that romanticize abusive relationships, and how completely blind they are to the fact that they're a slap in the face to people that have been through it.
I hadn't realized that people have stepped forward and tried to contact E.L. James about these issues, people that have been through controlling and horrible relationships. And she sluffed them off, because she's 50 Shades of Horrible Insensitive Stupid Bitch.
Anyway, I'm gonna eat some awesome dinner and get back to editing. Thanks for the little break!
I'm about three quarters of the way done editing VIVID 2, and I'm starting to get extremely excited. My wonderful and lovely editor is dying for a copy, and I'll be super proud to give it to her. I've been working really hard on it, and while it's taking a lot longer than I thought it would, it's a really fun process and I'm feeling good about the polishing that I'm doing. It's amazing how things fall into place when you just let them simmer and reread them.
I've been doing some side notes, as inspiration strikes, and even though I'm incredibly stoked to be starting VIVID 3 in March, I may take a week long side gander into some short stories. Thanks to Jenny Trout I stumbled upon a racy little web site that is looking for some submissions into their sexy short story category. As some of you close to me know, I've written some erotica (such a nicer word than porn!) in my time, and I'm tempted to give it a try. Just as a side gander though, I promise. The third instalment in Moxie's story is calling very very loudly, so I won't stay away from it terribly long.
So, a juicing update!
In short, I feel fucking awesome. But as you know, I can never talk about anything the short way. ;) I've been incredibly diligent about making vegetable juice twice a day, and ingesting it a half hour before eating solid food so that I absorb all of the nutrients. And let me tell you, it's working.
When I started, it was just a way for me to add some extra nutrients into my daily routine, because I like to eat a lot of crap. I love good-for-you food too, but also so much crap. So I figured I'd be chugging juice in between crap to make sure that I'm not dying of over-chocolating.
But I just realized, a few days ago, that I have stopped over-chocolating. Scientifically (or so I've researched), eating too much crap never makes you feel full, because you're getting enough calories but not enough nutrients. According to that theory, you're loading up on calories but starving your body of nutrients, therefore you're constantly hungry. So, apparently, if you ingest the proper nutrients, you won't be craving food constantly. Of course I thought this was a load of shit. I love food!
I was proven wrong. Not that I don't eat chocolate or chips or bad-for-you stuff anymore, but I don't crave it anymore. I'll be satisfied after two peanut butter cups instead of twenty. And I was the kind of person that can't eat just one Oreo. It was the whole box or nothing. But since I've been having two juices a day, I haven't felt the need to gorge an entire bag of chips or a whole box of cookies. It's odd, but probably a good thing.
I've also been craving a lot of good stuff. In the last little while, we've been experimenting with different healthy foods, like ground flax and quinoa (which kicks the shit out of rice any day!). And the awesome chick that I work with in Elora now, she's a vegan and all into smoothies and stuff. She's introduced me to some intense recipes and teas, all that are super anti-cancer and really healthy for you. I don't even have to think about it any more, my body craves the good stuff now, which is awesome.
I've noticed a serious increase in energy. I've never been a morning person, and I'm still not exactly thrilled about being awake early. But I don't feel like a bag of shit anymore. I had my first 5:30 am shift yesterday, and I got out of bed on the first snooze because I wanted to have time to make a smoothie before work. I walk the dog while I drink the goodness, and I'm not dragging my ass in the morning. It gives me a spring in my step throughout the day, and I don't crash like I would from coffee.
Don't get me wrong, I still love my coffee. :) I'm drinking one right now. But let me tell you, green ass vegetables beat caffeine for energy.
I've started making smoothies, too. I felt like I wasn't getting enough of the leafy greens in the juice, because I'd get barely any juice from them, so I thought if I made smoothies with frozen fruit and the leafy greens, I'd get everything all in one glass. I also don't eat/drink a lot of dairy, so I figured that having yogurt and milk would be good for me too. I discovered that you can mix ground seeds with smoothies too, and it'll give you a massive dose of protein. Apparently flax gels when it gets wet and it's really good for your colon. ^_^' The more you know!
So I've been doing two juices and two smoothies a day, and I feel fucking amazing. My skin is clearer, I have more energy, I'm craving healthy stuff, I'm in great spirits (although that might have something to do with my recent job change, too), and I'm pretty sure my boobs are perkier. I'm not 100% positive, but my girls just seem happier lately. I've read that copious amounts of veggies build muscle and tighten the skin, so it's possible that I've given my titties a little lift. Which is another awesome side effect.
So all in all, I recommend this. Even if a juicer isn't in your budget, if you have some kind of blender or processor you can make smoothies with just about anything. I like to use the juicer for my veggie stuff, like tomatoes, carrots, celery, and beets. Then I use the blender with frozen fruit, yogurt, milk, greens (spinach or kale) and grains. If you're lactose intolerant or don't like milk you can use orange or apple juice to make smoothies too. My vegan friend makes these super intense kale/ginger/lemon/orange smoothies with a VitaMix blender, which basically liquefies everything into super-goodness. It's some serious sinus-clearing flavour, but it's fucking delicious. And you feel like you can lift a car afterwards.
Anyways, that's an update into my health-kick adventure, in case anyone was interested. If you have any questions, or if you do anything like this to help your nutrition, let me know in the comments! I'm always looking for new recipes or ideas to continue boosting my health. (I know, I should quit smoking, blah friggedy blah.)
On a totally different note, I was directed to this blogring which is the hub on information and discussion about why 50 Shades of Grey is about abuse. I highly recommend checking it out, even if you've never read the series or don't care about it, it's a really interesting look into social culture and what people really believe in society. It blows my mind the amount of people that romanticize abusive relationships, and how completely blind they are to the fact that they're a slap in the face to people that have been through it.
I hadn't realized that people have stepped forward and tried to contact E.L. James about these issues, people that have been through controlling and horrible relationships. And she sluffed them off, because she's 50 Shades of Horrible Insensitive Stupid Bitch.
Anyway, I'm gonna eat some awesome dinner and get back to editing. Thanks for the little break!
Knights and Dragons iPhone Guide
2013-07-15 UPDATE: I've moved this entire blog over to WordPress, so this post will no longer be updated on Blogger. Click here for the new blog, where all of the updates will happen! I've imported the entire blog, so all of your comments will remain intact and 'add me' requests will be visible. :) Happy battling!
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So I've poked around the internet a few times for some answers to a few questions with the highly addictive Knights and Dragons for iPhone. It's got all of the good elements of a sim game, with an RPG twist. It's my favourite smoke-break time-waster. But, it being fairly new, I haven't been able to find any kind of guide or anything for it, so I thought maybe I'd start one. I'm at level 101, so I'm not an expert yet, but at least I can give some insights and tips and as comprehensive of an armor guide as I can put together. I'll keep updating as I keep learning.
Game Basics
The main screen shows your kingdom, which at the beginning is pretty empty. At the top there is a level experience bar, a health bar for your knights, your gold (the main game currency) and your gems (the premium currency that can be won or bought with real world money). To the left is the quest log, and on the bottom right is the PVP arena and the menu button.
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| My girls hanging out in the kingdom. |
In your kingdom, you start with the arena, armorsmith, fusion master, and the chance chest. You get a free chest every day, or you can use gems to open them, or get keys from defeating monsters. They contain anything from gold to fusion stones to armor.
The rest of the world consists of areas that are made up of five sets of battles, ranging from one to five stars: Normal, Mighty, Valor, Honor, Epic. The difficulty level is from low to high, and they unlock as you complete each stage. They consist of three to seven fights in each stage, and at the end of each one is a boss to defeat.
The PVP arena is where your knights battle other players knights (up to three knights on each side). If you lose, you get 5 xp and 5 gold, and if you win you get 10 xp and 10 gold. You can 'double down' after a win, and gamble your winnings for the next battle. It will double the win, but if you lose, you lose everything. You can do this up to seven times, capping at 350%, then it forces you to cash out and you can start doubling down again from scratch.
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| I always almost make it into the top 100. ^_^' |
Social
Everyone likes having friends. And in this game it isn't about asking them for items (although being able to gift fusion stones would be nice!), it's about them helping fight the good fight. You can hire up to two friends to help you in a battle, up to ten friends per day. This is extremely helpful when you want to open up the map or finish a quest but you're not quite strong enough to do it on your own. They're there every day, so use them!
They can also be super helpful if you're having trouble with the weekly bosses, keep an eye out for any friends wearing the armor you need to defeat them.
You can also battle your friends, as mentioned above, once per day. In the beginning there are tons of quests to do so, and it can be tedious and annoying, especially because I find that this section of the game lags a bit. But it's easy experience for completing quests, and you get points towards the weekly tournament.
Buildings and Earning Gold
There isn't really a lot to worry about in the kingdom. All of the main things can be accessed from the menu, and everything else that fills your kingdom are buildings that produce gold. They will cap at a certain gold output, and then sit there until you collect. So you don't have to worry about checking back every five minutes, because your gold isn't going anywhere.
Gold is important to be able to craft armor. You want to upgrade to the best buildings possible early on to maximize your income. Unfortunately space is limited at the beginning, so unlocking areas to make room for more buildings is important too. Unlocking space in your kingdom ranges from a few thousand gold up to two million for the last spot. Unlock as you can, but remember to keep a good gold stash for crafting armor.
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| Training centers galore! |
Knights, Elements, and Battles
You start out with one knight, your 'commander'. As you progress through the early battle areas, you will collect five more knights, each with their own specific element. Your commander will always have higher stats, and is not limited to any type of armor. Each of the five other knights have lower stats and can only wear armor of the element it is attributed to.
The five elements are Fire, Spirit, Earth, Air, and Water. Fire is strong against Spirit, Spirit against Earth, Earth against Air, Air against Water, and Water against Fire. This is important to remember when heading into a battle. The beginning screen for each battle will tell you what elements you can expect to come up against, and what elements are strong against it so you can adjust your armor and knights accordingly.
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| Yeah, I know my names are stupid. :) |
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| The yellow special attack bar is ready to go! |
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| Whoopin his butt with a special attack to get some Stone Slabs. |
Armor has levels just like the knights do, except they have a cap. You can use old or unused armor to upgrade the ones that you want to be stronger, and higher level armor will give more experience points to the one that you're upgrading. When armor reaches a certain level, a 'plus' armor will be unlocked that you can craft that will be stronger than the one that you're leveling. For example, the Snakeskin Amor has 50 levels, and when you get it to level 15, it unlocks Snakeskin Armor+, which you can now craft and will ultimately be stronger than the original Snakeskin Armor.
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| I've never leveled the basic armors, so at this point I don't know if they can be 'plus' or not. |
The boss armor is as follows (element and level cap on the right, materials needed underneath):
Stonescale Plate Mail - Earth - 30
4 Stone Slabs
Seafoam Armor - Water - 30
4 Chunks of Coral
Snakeskin Armor - Water/Earth - 50
8 Snakeskin Leather Strips
Dragonflame Armor - Fire - 30
4 Crimson Dragon Scales
Wing Warrior's Armor - Air - 30
4 Valhallan Steel Ingots
Mystic Armor - Spirit - 30
4 Mystic Cloth Scraps
Atlantean Avenger Armor - Water/Air - 50
8 Typhoon Gems
Crius Armor - Earth/Air - 50
12 Shiny Shards
Chimera Corps Uniform - Spirit/Earth - 50
12 Chimera Talons
Living Flame Armor - Fire/Spirit - 50
12 Phoenix Feathers
Hydra Hunter's Mail - Water/Fire - 50
8 Hydra Scales
Spectral Captain's Uniform - Spirit/Water - 70
18 Ghostly Beard Hairs
Swamp Shaman's Robes - Earth/Water - 70
18 Wriggling Roots
Rocfeather Robes - Spirit/Air - 70
18 Roc Feathers
Armor of the Infernal Lord - Earth/Fire - 70
18 Infernal Iron Chunks
The Dark Prince's Royal Armor - Fire/Spirit - 70
22 Evil Jewels
What I found to be most effective in the beginning was to pick one armor and upgrade it right up. I used the Dragonflame Armor, because I wanted to not be weak to the air enemies in the Cold Iron Crags, and I wanted an advantage over the spirit enemies in the Faerie Forest. Once past the Faerie Forest, you start getting into the higher level armor, and those give you the most bang for your buck. Eventually the best goal is to have one set of three very versatile elemented armors that you can switch between two groups of three knights to maximize how effective your battling is in one session. Once the knights are out of health, you have to wait for them to regenerate, so it's nice to get a few battles in before they're too dead to participate.
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| You can use up to four armor sets at a time to upgrade. |
I've found that the higher the level cap on an armor, the harder it is to level up. Basic element armors won't do much on the 70 level armors, but the 50 level ones will go faster. Work on those first, and you'll have a decent set of three to get you through to endgame. The level 70 armors need dual element armors for enhancement to really put a dent in leveling them up.
Extra Bosses and the Summoning Stone
You'll notice right by the first battle area that there is a crater of dirt and a spot called the Summoning Stone. Once you defeat a boss for the first time, they will be available at the Summoning Stone. You can summon them for gems, and be guaranteed to get materials that you need.
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| The regular game bosses start at 4 gems, but the weekly bosses are all 30. |
However, they're usually cool looking, so if you really want to use them and make the most of them, you have to be quick. They all will go up to 'plus' armors too, but you have only a few days to a week of a window to get all of the materials needed for two sets. The boss will only show up randomly while you're fighting random battles. If you go to the first area, the Relic Ruins, and choose the Epic Stage. If you're at an obscenely high level with strong armor, it doesn't really matter who you use or what you wear, the enemies will only be able to take 1 hp off of you. If you're lower than that, make sure that you're maximizing on spirit armor and minimizing on air. Keep battling this stage over and over, and kill the boss every time he shows up. You'll get a lot of earth shards and stone slabs, and you'll also be finishing the boss quests quickly.
Now, most of these armors take 50-70 materials to make, which is a ton, and most of the initial materials come from the quests. So it'll take a lot of grinding, but continue to fight at the Relic Ruins until you have the materials required to make a second set of the armor. Once you have that, you can level it up at your leisure until it's high enough to create a 'plus' armor. What I like to do is to create the 'plus' armor and then upgrade it with the original armor. It'll give it a nice level boost due to the original already being level 15-20, and then I won't accidentally use it because it's higher than level 1.
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| For this week (Feb 8th) it's the Banshee. Looks like Edward Scissorhair. |
I won't include a list of the armors that I've found with the weekly bosses, unless they do start cycling through again. Unless you want to pay a ton of gems to craft them, you won't be able to make them anyway.
Every time a new boss comes to town, there is an armor set available in the Enchanted Chance Chests that when put on, deals extra damage to the boss. As far as I know, there is no way to craft these, you just have to get lucky and get them from the chests. And they don't seem terribly powerful, so I've never leveled them, and I don't know if they will allow 'plus' versions or not.
Note: I've found that fusion will give you the weekly boss armors, which is handy if it's that week, so you can just level up that one and then use the materials from the quest to create a 'plus' version. See Fusion Guide below.
Bosses and What They Drop
Sometimes you'll have a multitude of quests that require you to make different types of armor or collect many different materials. It helps to know what bosses drop what, in case you're after their rare drop and also their common drop. That way you don't spend too much time fighting the lower bosses and then ending up with a ton of frustration trying to get the rarer materials.
For example, if I had a quest to collect Typhoon Gems and Ghostly Beard Hairs, it would be more effective to start with Ghostbeard the Pirate because he drops both. If I battled Waterio I'd end up with enough Typhoon Gems and some extra Chunks of Coral, but then I'd go battle Ghostbeard for longer because the Beard Hairs are rarer, and then I'd end up with a ton more Typhoon Gems anyway. Of course, if you want lots of extra materials to be able to craft lots of armor, this is fine, but for the sake of finishing the quests and leveling up quicker, the previous method is more effective.
Here's a list of the bosses, their element, and the type of materials they drop (rarest on the right):
Earthquake Serpent - Earth - Stone Slabs
Water Elemental - Water - Chunks of Coral
Gorgon Warmistress - Snakeskin Leather Scraps
Crimson Dragon - Crimson Dragon Scales
Mighty Mammoth Rider - Valhallan Steel Ingots
Titania - Mystic Cloth Scraps
Waterio - Chunks of Coral - Typhoon Gems
Cockatrice - Valhallan Steel Ingots - Shiny Shards
Chimera - Stone Slabs - Chimera Talons
Phoenix - Mystic Cloth Scraps - Phoenix Feathers
Hydra - Crimson Dragon Scales - Hydra Scales
Ghostbeard The Pirate - Typhoon Gems - Ghostly Beard Hairs
Swamp Kraken - Hydra Scales - Wriggling Roots
The Roc God - Shiny Shards - Roc Feathers
Cerberus - Chimera Talons - Infernal Iron Chunks
Prince Of Darkness - Phoenix Feathers - Evil Jewels
Fusion Guide
You can collect fusion stones from battles, PVP rewards, chests, or you can buy them. Each stone allows you to fuse two armor sets together to make new armor.
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| This guy looks way too happy about fusion. |
On the other hand, if you are buying stones and have access to an unlimited amount, it is very useful to fuse the basic element armors together. On their own, they don't level armor very fast for upgrading, but when fused together they make better armor sets that will boost xp significantly.
So this is my list in progress:
Also, I'm not sure if you get different things from fusing the same things multiple times. These are the ones that I got, and I did a couple of them twice to see if I got different outcomes, and I didn't. But I didn't want to waste too many fusion stones on the same ones, so if you follow this and you happen to get something different, please leave it in the comments and I'll add it to my list.
Basic Earth/Basic Air - Monstrous Garb (Earth/Air)
Basic Earth/Basic Water - Snakeskin Armor (Earth/Water)
Basic Earth/Basic Fire - Volcanic Mantle (Earth/Fire)
Basic Earth/Basic Spirit - Monk's Vestments (Earth/Spirit)
Basic Air/Basic Water - Lightning Lord Armor (Air/Water)
Basic Air/Basic Fire - Flamestorm Finery (Air/Fire)
Basic Air/Basic Spirit - Wind Monarch's Robes (Air/Spirit)
Basic Water/Basic Fire - Hydra Hunter's Mail (Fire/Water)
Basic Water/Basic Spirit - Wavecharmer's Mantle (Water/Spirit)
Basic Fire/Basic Spirit - Living Flame Armor (Fire/Spirit)
Dragonflame Armor/Basic Earth - Volcanic Mantle (Fire/Earth)
Dragonflame Armor/Basic Air - Flamestorm Finery (Fire/Air)
Dragonflame Armor/Basic Water - Hydra Hunter's Mail (Fire/Water)
Dragonflame Armor/Basic Spirit - Living Flame Armor (Spirit/Fire)
Mystic Armor/Basic Earth - Chimera Corps Uniform (Earth/Spirit)
Mystic Armor/Basic Air - Wind Monarch's Robes (Spirit/Air)
Mystic Armor/Basic Water - Glacier Armor (Spirit/Water)
Mystic Armor/Basic Fire - Flamestorm Finery (Fire/Air)
Seafoam Armor/Basic Earth - Asura Armor (Water/Earth)
Seafoam Armor/Basic Spirit - Wavecharmer's Mantle (Water/Spirit)
Seafoam Armor/Basic Air - Atlantean Avenger Armor (Air/Water)
Seafoam Armor/Basic Fire - Hydra Hunter's Mail (Fire/Water)
Stonescale Plate Mail/Basic Spirit - Chimera Corps Uniform (Earth/Spirit)
Stonescale Plate Mail/Basic Air - Crius Armor (Air/Earth)
Stonescale Plate Mail/Basic Fire - Volcanic Mantle (Fire/Earth)
Stonescale Plate Mail/Basic Water - Asura Armor (Water/Earth)
Wing Warrior's Armor/Basic Spirit - Wind's Monarch Robes (Spirit/Air)
Wing Warrior's Armor/Basic Fire - Flamestorm Finery (Fire/Air)
Wing Warrior's Armor/Basic Water - Atlantean Avenger Armor (Air/Water)
Wing Warrior's Armor/Basic Earth - Crius Armor (Air/Earth)
Dragonflame Armor/Mystic Armor - Living Flame Armor (Spirit/Fire)
Dragonflame Armor/Seafoam Armor - Hydra Hunter's Mail (Fire/Water)
Dragonflame Armor/Stonescale Plate Mail - Volcanic Mantle (Fire/Earth)
Dragonflame Armor/Wing Warrior's Armor - Flamestorm Finery (Fire/Air)
Mystic Armor/Seafoam Armor - Wavecharmer's Mantle (Water/Spirit)
Mystic Armor/Stonescale Plate Mail - Chimera Corps Uniform (Earth/Spirit)
Mystic Armor/Wing Warrior's Armor - Wind Monarch's Robes (Spirit/Air)
Seafoam Armor/Stonescale Plate Mail - Snakeskin Armor (Earth/Water)
Seafoam Armor/Wing Warrior's Armor - Atlantean Avenger Armor (Air/Water)
Stonescale Plate Mail/Wing Warrior's Armor - Flowstone Battlegear (Earth/Air)
Living Flame Armor/Stonescale Plate Mail - Chimera Corps Uniform (Earth/Spirit)
Chimera Corps Uniform/Basic Water Armor - Glacier Armor (Spirit/Water)
Glacier Armor/Stonescale Plate Mail - Asura Armor (Water/Earth)
The Kingdom of Darkness
The last battle area is the Kingdom of Darkness, and I just thought I'd give a heads up to those of you who haven't gotten there yet. Be prepared! Each stage in the KOD is all boss battles, and they're way harder to defeat than ever before. So make sure that you've got some high armor and some friends in high places because they're tough battles to live through.
Pretty much all of the elements are present in every stage, so just slap on your highest level armor and hope for the best.
The cool thing about this area is that if you have any quests left where you have to collect materials, it's a lot faster to get them because the bosses are all together. You don't have to go through seven battles of peons to get to the good stuff. There are a few peons with a boss for every battle. They also are more likely to drop chance chest keys than in any other area.
Every enemy in this area gives tons of xp, so you'll gain levels much quicker. This is handy in the middle of a stage when you're about to die.
Normal Stage:
Battle 1/3 - Earthquake Serpent
Battle 2/3 - Water Elemental
Battle 3/3 - Gorgon Warmistress
Mighty Stage:
Battle 1/3 - Crimson Dragon
Battle 2/3 - Mighty Mammoth Rider
Battle 3/3 - Titania
Valor Stage:
Battle 1/3 - Waterio
Battle 2/3 - Cockatrice
Battle 3/3 - Chimera
Honor Stage:
Battle 1/3 - Phoenix
Battle 2/3 - Hydra
Battle 3/3 - Ghostbeard The Pirate
Epic Stage:
Battle 1/4 - Swamp Kraken
Battle 2/4 - The Roc God
Battle 3/4 - Cerberus
Battle 4/4 - Prince of Darkness
*Beware that the Prince of Darkness has two forms, so don't waste your special attack on his first form!*
Max Armor Stats
Here's a list of the main boss armor and their maximum stats. Unfortunately I don't have the early ones, and don't care to level them up because it would be a waste of materials. I had Dragonflame and Stonescale maxed out but I enhanced higher level armor with them long before I started this guide. I also had Steam Wizard and Lightning Lord armors maxed out, but when I realized I wouldn't be able to craft + versions of them I used them to enhance stronger armor, because they weren't very powerful anyway. I'm working on maxing out all of the main armors so I will post the stats here as I do.
Atlantean Avenger Armor+ Level 50/50: Attack 746 Defense 777
Crius Armor+ Level 50/50:
Chimera Corps Uniform+ Level 50/50:
Living Flame Armor+ Level 50/50: Attack 777 Defense 737
Hydra Hunter's Mail+ Level 50/50:
Spectral Captain's Uniform+ Level 70/70:
Swamp Shaman Robes+ Level 70/70:
Rocfeather Robes+ Level 70/70:
Armor of the Infernal Lord+ Level 70/70:
The Dark Prince's Royal Armor+ Level 70/70:
Tips For Progressing Smoothly and Quickly
1. Quests! Finish your quests as best you can, because they give lots of experience. Sometimes you even get armor, fusion stones, materials, and/or gems.
2. Use your friends to your advantage. If you have some high level friends, and your knights are pretty hurt but can still enter a battle, queue up a battle with a weak knight and two high powered friends. You can unlock extra stages this way without having to wait for your knights to heal. This will open up the map faster, and get you much needed experience from battles. Always keep your friends list maxed!
3. Level armor one at a time. Try not to spread out your leveling, otherwise you'll have six mediocre knights instead of two or three powerful ones. Remember to level diverse elements so that you can cover all bases no matter where you go for battles. If you're hurting in a new stage because you don't have the right elements at a high enough level, call in some friends for backup.
4. Fusion is your friend. If you're trying to level a level 70 armor and it's taking forever because you don't have enough materials to make dual element armor, fuse together basic element armors to make more powerful sets. Then use those to enhance.
5. Open up the map as far as you can before you can't battle anymore. If you've gone as far as you can on your quests and/or are getting bored grinding for certain materials for a quest, open up new stages. The further you can go, the more experience points you're going to get from killing enemies. Plus it gives you a heads up for what's happening in the next area when you have to go there to quest.
Conclusion
I hope that this guide helps people out, whether they're just starting the game or not. If anyone has any comments or questions or wants to let me know whether I got something wrong or missed something, please don't hesitate to leave comments below.
Also I have a question, for anyone out there that knows, I've come across a knight in the arena with strange armor. The element is a white pentagon, and his attack kills me every time. I've only seen him with it, nobody else, and I don't know what it is. I thought maybe it was the reward for beating the Dark Prince, but I'm done all of that and I've never seen it. I'm not sure if maybe I can fuse it, but I'll see as I go through fusing if I can find it. Or maybe it was a first prize in PVP? He does really well in the tournaments, so that's an idea. Anyway, if anyone knows what that armor is and/or how to get it, it would help my curiosity greatly. :)
2013-02-09 EDIT
So, I found a really wicked comprehensive armor crafting blog for this game HERE. The general consensus over there is that all of the armor fusion is random, so you never really know what you're going to get when you fuse two elements together. So, my list up there will continue, but now it's just a list of what I've gotten. There's a ton of discussion over there too, so check it out! I'm going to continue my list, just for shits and giggles, but it's not the be all and end all of fusing armor.
Also in answer to my question above, that armor is called Starmetal Armor and someone has fused it by combining Barbarian Raiding Gear and Spectral Captain's Uniform. So w00t! I'll try it eventually and see what happens.
2013-02-10 EDIT
I'm out of fusion stones. ^_^'
Thanks for reading!
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2013-07-15 UPDATE: I've moved this entire blog over to WordPress, so this post will no longer be updated on Blogger. Click here for the new blog, where all of the updates will happen! I've imported the entire blog, so all of your comments will remain intact and 'add me' requests will be visible. :) Happy battling!
25.1.13
The Boss Chapter Two
If you haven't yet checked out the sexy serial novel The Boss, by Abigail Barnette, check it out here! Go ahead, I'll wait. :)
I got my street team copy of chapter two last night, and there are so many things right with it that I don't even know where to start. For those of you who don't know, Abigail Barnette is a pseudonym for the talented Jenny Trout, who has been doing chapter-by-chapter recaps of the 50 Shades Trilogy. She's opened many eyes as to why the series is terrible, from the writing itself to the prevalent themes that E.L. James has snuck in under many noses. Therefore, Jenny has decided to write a proper erotic romance and give it away for free, because she's fucking awesome.
In chapter 1, we met Sophie, a twenty four year old woman working at a top fashion magazine. Her boss has mysteriously quit or been fired, and the man that has taken the position is a man from Sophie's past. A sexy older gentleman named Neil that once introduced her a night of passion that she's never forgotten.
In chapter two, we get into the meat of the story. Sophie's best friend Holli is a model, but she's not a pretentious bitch. She's thin and beautiful and perfect, but Sophie does not resent her in the slightest. They have an amazing friendship, they're roommates, and they talk about their problems while smoking weed and drinking wine. It's an incredibly well written and realistic scene, the dialogue was so perfect. And I love that neither of them feels it necessary to compete with one another. Sophie does not ever imply anything negative towards her friend, because they're best friends. In 50 Shades, Ana constantly talks about Kate (her best friend) like she has to one-up her, and the only time that she ever thinks about her or 'misses' her is when she's having a Christian crisis. But then Christian wants to fuck and the crisis is over and Ana instantly forgets she even has friends. She also innately 'slut-shames' Kate for having a sexual relationship with Elliot (Kate's boyfriend), meanwhile she fucks Christian three times a day. This kind of terrible cattiness is not present in The Boss.
I also like that Sophie has very real issues. She's worried about whether or not she's going to be able to keep her job, since she was the personal assistant to her previous one. She's planning ahead, calculating what savings she has, and even going so far as to think about selling some of her extra purses and clothes on the internet if she needs extra cash. She says that having things like that is awesome, but it's not necessary to live. She has to pay bills, and wants to work to support herself, thus making her an independent and relatable woman with real world issues. It makes you respect her. In 50 Shades, Ana doesn't have to pay for anything because she lives with Kate, and Kate's rich parents pay for it all. Ana has a car that was given to her by Jose (Mexican Jacob). So she literally has no expenses. And she pretends that working is so important to her and she wants to do it because she has to be independent and Christian can't just buy her stuff all the time... but then she's the worst employee ever. She emails back and forth with Christian constantly on her work email, takes personal calls, and her 'friends' stop by the office all the time to see her. All in the first week of working there. And then *SPOILER* her boss gets fired and she gets promoted to editor. It's unrealistic and ridiculous.
And then, readers, then we get some action. And I feel like there is hope for this world, after all. The entire time I was reading 50 Shades I was waiting for hot sex. This proclaimed dirty and naughty book about BDSM ended up being BORING. The first sex scene was just normal sex, and it was decently written, but every single sex scene afterwards was the exact same. The only dirty thing that happened was the infamous bathroom scene where Christian pulls out her tampon before he fucks her. Ew. Ew. Ew. All of the BDSM stuff ended up actually not being sexual at all, and it turned out that Christian just beat her when he was angry. Not sexy, folks.
Anyway, in chapter two of The Boss, Sophie has a wonderful flashback while she's pleasuring herself in the bathtub. She's thinking back to the night she spent with Neil, and oh god. Just delicious. It was beautifully written, and delightfully fresh. It was sexy as hell, and I actually applauded out loud for Abigail Barnette. Also, Sophie comments on how she 'jilled off' in the tub, and I laughed out loud. This is the kind of erotic literature I want to read. This is the kind of erotic literature that everyone should want to read. A world of realistic and relatable situations, with a hero and heroine that you like, and steamy sex scenes that make you want to tear your clothes off.
The Boss Chapter 2 will be up for your carnal pleasure here on January 30th.
I got my street team copy of chapter two last night, and there are so many things right with it that I don't even know where to start. For those of you who don't know, Abigail Barnette is a pseudonym for the talented Jenny Trout, who has been doing chapter-by-chapter recaps of the 50 Shades Trilogy. She's opened many eyes as to why the series is terrible, from the writing itself to the prevalent themes that E.L. James has snuck in under many noses. Therefore, Jenny has decided to write a proper erotic romance and give it away for free, because she's fucking awesome.
In chapter 1, we met Sophie, a twenty four year old woman working at a top fashion magazine. Her boss has mysteriously quit or been fired, and the man that has taken the position is a man from Sophie's past. A sexy older gentleman named Neil that once introduced her a night of passion that she's never forgotten.
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| Jenny is an avid Giles fan. So I just picture Neil like this. Yum. |
I also like that Sophie has very real issues. She's worried about whether or not she's going to be able to keep her job, since she was the personal assistant to her previous one. She's planning ahead, calculating what savings she has, and even going so far as to think about selling some of her extra purses and clothes on the internet if she needs extra cash. She says that having things like that is awesome, but it's not necessary to live. She has to pay bills, and wants to work to support herself, thus making her an independent and relatable woman with real world issues. It makes you respect her. In 50 Shades, Ana doesn't have to pay for anything because she lives with Kate, and Kate's rich parents pay for it all. Ana has a car that was given to her by Jose (Mexican Jacob). So she literally has no expenses. And she pretends that working is so important to her and she wants to do it because she has to be independent and Christian can't just buy her stuff all the time... but then she's the worst employee ever. She emails back and forth with Christian constantly on her work email, takes personal calls, and her 'friends' stop by the office all the time to see her. All in the first week of working there. And then *SPOILER* her boss gets fired and she gets promoted to editor. It's unrealistic and ridiculous.
And then, readers, then we get some action. And I feel like there is hope for this world, after all. The entire time I was reading 50 Shades I was waiting for hot sex. This proclaimed dirty and naughty book about BDSM ended up being BORING. The first sex scene was just normal sex, and it was decently written, but every single sex scene afterwards was the exact same. The only dirty thing that happened was the infamous bathroom scene where Christian pulls out her tampon before he fucks her. Ew. Ew. Ew. All of the BDSM stuff ended up actually not being sexual at all, and it turned out that Christian just beat her when he was angry. Not sexy, folks.
Anyway, in chapter two of The Boss, Sophie has a wonderful flashback while she's pleasuring herself in the bathtub. She's thinking back to the night she spent with Neil, and oh god. Just delicious. It was beautifully written, and delightfully fresh. It was sexy as hell, and I actually applauded out loud for Abigail Barnette. Also, Sophie comments on how she 'jilled off' in the tub, and I laughed out loud. This is the kind of erotic literature I want to read. This is the kind of erotic literature that everyone should want to read. A world of realistic and relatable situations, with a hero and heroine that you like, and steamy sex scenes that make you want to tear your clothes off.
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| I've now spent too much time looking at pictures of Anthony Stewart Head. |
24.1.13
What A Week.
So, after the emotional rollercoaster that has been this week, I'm determined to get back to living life the way a certain friend of mine would have wanted me to. Joelle always had so many things on the go, was so lively and fun, so I'm going to get the hell out of bed and channel her to the best of my ability. I hope everyone else feels this way too. One of our favourite things to quote to each other was the infamous "Be excellent to each other, and party on, dude!". They are words to live by.
In the spirit of being excellent to people, I will be lightening my news to try to bring some inspiration and cheer to the world. Here's a picture to make you smile:
That being said, one good thing came out of my extensive stays in bed. I finished Vivid 2. Not exactly sure what happened, I was just farting around on my computer and suddenly went "hey, I'm gonna write", and then the characters that I've known and loved for many years decided to finish the second episode of their journey.
It's awesome how things come together, and I'm hoping that in the same fashion I can find the perfect Moxie face. So, if anyone is interested, you can let me know via email. If you have any female friends that you think would be into being on a book cover, send them my way. Don't be shy, I am accepting submissions from anyone, and the more I have the wider my options for finding Moxie!
In the spirit of being excellent to people, I will be lightening my news to try to bring some inspiration and cheer to the world. Here's a picture to make you smile:
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| As Ashley has taught me, there is no power on this earth that cheers me up like Yoga Kittens. |
In four hours it was complete, and I was a little flabbergasted, as I've been stuck on episode 2 for about a year and half now. But it felt really good to finish, and editing stuff also makes me super happy, so it was win/win. I'm in the process of typing up the second draft after editing the crap out of it, and then it's on to other editing (ie, Emerald and my wonderful father), then a final draft will be crafted for publishing.
I've made my release date March 1st, to give me ample time to do this but also a deadline so that I don't get slacking. It's an exciting time, and I want to keep the pressure on now. I've also decided that once it's up on the Kindle store, I'm going to make episode 1 free to purchase. It's a novella, and really just the prologue to the whole series, so I thought I'd share it with everyone for free. So March 1st is going to be a big day. :)
I also have something else to do before March 1st, and that is a book cover. As a self-proclaimed photographer, I take very meticulous steps with my covers. I am a firm advocate of "don't judge a book by it's cover", but only in the metaphorical sense, as in when it comes to people, or other things in life. In the literal sense, with books, they have to have an awesome cover. I feel like it adds to the whole ambience of the story. Also I've totally bought random books in the bargain section of Chapters just because they look cool, without even reading the back. I figure I can't possibly be the only person that does that, so if one of my covers happen to hook just one random person, then yay!
Anyway, I'm getting off track here. (That happens a lot, which is why I let other people edit my shit even after I've done it myself.) I have an idea for a cover in mind, it's loose in the sense that I'm not sure of exact framing and posing, but specific in the sense that I want it to focus on my main character, Moxie. I need Moxie's face.
For episode 1, I wanted the sandy-haired man's face. I spent a lot of time staring at random people in the street (creepy, I know, but we artists are eccentric by nature), and found him in a young temp at a factory I was working at at the time. Thankfully he didn't freak out when I asked him if he'd be interested in modeling for my book cover, and we became friends. After much talking, planning, an extensive makeup session with my very talented cousin Edith in Missisauga, and some photoshop, I ended up with the cover of my dreams.
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| Jay Seiler, amateur model, kickass dude! |
My email is caitlinszinegh@gmail.com, and if you could please send a picture of yourself, that would be great. Any photo will do, I don't care about resolution or editing as long as I can see your face. I will provide a model release, and just to be clear if you're under 18 I will need to meet with your parent or guardian, have their consent, and have them sign a model release for you. I pay cash (with receipt) based on length of the session, and depending on how many perks you would like in return for the shoot. These include professional makeup, a CD of edited photos from your shoot, and a free download/hard copy of the book. I will be using CafePress to get a few hard copies, so if you'd like a monument to your awesomeness I can provide you with one. Also, hair. Moxie has platinum blue hair. I can do this in photoshop, but if you're interested in realism and want to dye your hair this colour, I will purchase all of the materials and do your hair for you the day before the shoot. I must note that being willing to do this will NOT sway your chances over someone who doesn't want to dye their hair, I'm concentrating on the right candidate. I just wanted to throw that out there, that if you want cool hair out of this, I am totally game for doing it for you.
With all of that out of the way, if you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment here, email me, or send me a message on facebook. And spread the word! I don't have an exact deadline for the shoot, because I want to be meticulous in finding Moxie, but with my deadline of publishing on March 1st, I'm hoping to do this mid to late February. Of course, the shoot date will be chosen once I get in contact with my candidate, and I will work with their availability.
Whew. I'm terribly excited. I'm going to get back to typing the second draft so that Emerald doesn't kill me for making her wait so long.
Just before I do that, I just want to let my readers (love you guys) know that I'm all about networking and helping people out. I'm actually getting more views on this blog than I thought I would, and as such wanted to extend a helping hand to anyone else out there that's trying to gain some views on their stuff. I'm on the street team for The Boss (which I will be reviewing and pimping chapter two tomorrow, yay!), and would love to help out anyone else trying to get hits for their blog, portfolios, or whatever else they're trying to market.
So, if you have a slice of internet creativeness that you'd like to share, shoot it my way and I'll take a look and pimp it for you. :) I'm rather enjoying this whole blogging thing, it's a nice outlet for me, and if I can be excellent to someone in helping direct traffic to their own outlet, that would be salubrious.
Kay, Emerald, I swear I'm done this post.
P.S. If anyone wants to get in touch with Edith for her awesome aesthetic work, or with Jay for modeling, shoot me your info and I will get it to them!
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